Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm Not On The Menu

Several years ago I found my self alone, when my husband, and father of my 2 children, left us. I entered a period where I worked hard, looked after my kids as best I could, and had virtually no social life to speak of. My two best friends, also single mothers, helped get me through this period. What social life we had was usually at one of our homes together, snacking, watching TV, or just talking. Often our conversations wandered into what type of man we would like to have in our lives the next time love came calling. Of course we didn't really expect to meet our “Mr Perfect” anytime soon.

A friend of mine suggested that maybe I try out this brand new dating site that had just started up. I'll call it, “MEN-R-US” to avoid any liability issues so I went online to give it a go. I met this dork, I mean male shortly after joining, he seemed smart, seemed articulate and humorous. We chatted back and forth for a few weeks, as I informed him that I wanted to take things slow and that it had been a long time since I had been with a man in any kind of a relationship. I brought up the subject of my children early on, and he was fine with that because he said he had a son as well. He said that he loved kids and that being with his son was the biggest joy in his life. Everything seemed good to me, so I agreed to go out for dinner and dancing with him.

I went all out for that date! Hair, manicure, new dress, everything! I had arranged for a good friend to babysit and had picked her up earlier. As I sat there putting on my makeup, I was totally stressed out that he would not find me acceptable. I have to admit that I was halfway in love with the guy and I had not even met him. I really wanted this to work out. My friend told me to calm down before I hyperventilated, she told me to try not to look too needy or I would scare him off.  If only I had, this story would have had a different ending! So after collecting my self I went outside to wait for him as he was going to swing by and pick me up. Suddenly, there he was! I was so impatient to set my eyes on his gorgeous body, dreamy green eyes and wavy blond hair that I literally rushed up to his car as it pulled into the driveway. I bent over to say hi and was shocked senseless! I hoped that it was not him and that he had sent a friend over to tell me that he could not make it. I actually pinched myself to wake up from this horrible dream, but to no avail. There he sat, and he sure was not what I was expecting! I was so stunned that I just stood there like a dumb mute. Not knowing what else to do, I silently got into the car.

All the way to the restaurant I keep asking my self why are you in a car with a guy who looks like hes wearing a squirrel on his head. I guess I fell for the oldest online dating trick in the book. The fake profile picture..  He looked to be bald under that cheap rug. But the more I looked at it, the more it seemed that he just had it on wrong. Backwards or something stupid like that. His eyes were not the amazing green of the online profile either. He had dark eyes that were all bloodshot. He looked like he had a serious drug addiction. The well toned muscles in the picture were nowhere in evidence on this sorry excuse for a man. On top of everything, his idea of a top ranked restaurant was slightly better than a MacDonald's, only not as clean.  I prayed that no one I knew would see me with this dork, not just for my own sake but because I did not think my children could ever live it down.

We walked in and sat down at a corner table with a white table cloth and a candle in a little glass. It was actually not that bad looking from the inside. The decor was nice, and the waiters were all dressed in suits and ties. Maybe his idea of classy was not that bad after all. I had a chicken caesar and he had pork chops. He had a bad case of roman hands and russian fingers if you get my drift. My hand was sore from slapping at him before the entree was served. He made a remark about me being hot to trot since I had not had sex in years, and how I must be raring to have at it with a real man. I politely told him if I wanted to be with a real man I would not be here with him. After eating, he asked me to dance. Once again, I had to keep removing his hands from various parts of my anatomy. I guess to show me what a great catch he was he decided to show off his dancing prowess. He tried to jive with me. At one point his hand slipped out of mine and I stumbled into the bar. Well that was about all I could take. I stormed out of the restaurant and caught a cab outside to the hospital. I was lucky that my broken nose set almost straight. In any event it is a constant reminder that I need to be more careful.

No more dating advice for me! From that point on I did my own site sleuthing. I worked long and hard and found several decent sites.

During my site research, I found the following link, and it made it easy for me to select sites that were the best for me.:

Online Personals

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