This is an summation of my thoughts on using Internet Dating Sites to find love online. I have observed the online dating industry for some time now, more as a curiosity than as a member. I joined several dating sites some years ago and ended up getting caught up in how it is that people interact online versus real life. I have also discussed dating and relationships extensively with people I have met who are/were in all types and phases of relationships.
So what have I found?
Perhaps not too much that has not already been discussed by others in the past, but perhaps with a different twist on it.
Offline dating has been going on for thousands of years, and I doubt if anyone today could actually find much to add to the existing literature. I will therefore not try to pontificate in any manner on that aspect of dating, other than to note that most people tend to date within an extended community of friends for the most part.
Internet dating, which is a higher tech offshoot of the matchmaking services that have been around for hundreds of years, is a relatively new beast, and as such, there are some insights that can be passed on that most people have yet to learn.
So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Wonderful Matching Algorithms That Guarantee Me a Perfect Match
False – The first is that, quite frankly, people lie when they put up their profile information. Garbage in is Garbage out – lets see the brainiacs at the dating sites program around that one.
I Do Not Have To Work As Hard On A Dating Site To Find Someone I Like
False – Once you find someone you are interested in, no matter what the relationship you desire, to get on top of it, you have to spend a lot of time getting to know the person. And at some point you will become comfortable that they are not blowing smoke up your tush. If not, all bets are off and you are back to square one looking for someone else who interests you.
Internet Dating Sites Are More Likely To Find Someone For Me To Date
True – If you are a person who uses dating to interact with someone that you are interested in; then a dating site is likely to connect you with many more people than you can possibly find via your own means offline.
Dating Sites Are Better At Connecting You To Your Soul Mate.
False – Quantity does not equal quality. Just because you can see and interact with a lot more people online than you can in real life does not mean that you are being exposed to quality people that you have any real compatibility with, and even if you are compatible from an intellectual point of view, there is no guarantee that you will find the chemistry with them that you need to achieve soul mate status.
So What Good Are Dating Sites AnywayThey are dynamite if you are willing to be open and look outside of your normal comfort zone for possible matches. They are good for people who have not been successful finding their soul mate in real life because quite frankly they are looking for the wrong type of person in the wrong places. If you approach online dating with an open mind, you will likely be able to interact with many more disparate people then you normally hang out with, and in that process, discover more about what you like in other people, which may just change your mind about who you need in your life to complete you.
You should approach using a dating site as you would approach using any new tool that can improve your productivity. It is possible for someone to use a tool incorrectly and end up being hurt. It is possible to be sloppy how you use a tool and end up getting inferior results (don't blame the tool). If you take the time to learn the advantages and disadvantages of the tool, and employ that tool correctly, then you have the optimal chance of finding your perfect match.
So, open your heart and give online dating a try.
You can start here:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php
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