One of my friends spilled my messenger address to this guy, and surprisingly, I found myself chatting with him for a couple of months. At that point it just seemed natural for us to meet for lunch to see where our budding relationship might go. He lived quite some distance from me, but agreed to meet me on my turf. Imagine my surprise when he showed up in an old truck. We are not talking “classic car” here, we are talking JUNKER. My loser detector went on full alert!
I greeted him at the door and was completely underwhelmed to say the least. He looked like he just came from a construction site, he was completely unkempt and his clothes were dirty, dusty and smelly. He then told me I would have to drive because there was a hole in the floorboard on the passenger side and he did not want me falling through.
We decided to go to an Chinese buffet. It was nice and the food was quite tasty. My assumption that things were getting better were unfortunately short lived. After telling me how nice I looked, always nice to hear, he proceeded to tell me that he only had two toes on one foot (like I really gave a shit) and how he had lost them as a child playing with his father's rifle. He then told me that he did not have a job. He had lied to me so I would go out with him. He said he was about to lose his house that I found out wasn't a house at all but a friend's garage. Next this pathetic loser started to cry that he was not good looking enough to attract a girl, he had no job, and no prospects. What could I do but just pat his hand and tell him to be patient that there is someone out there for him and that things will work out for him eventually. He did not have enough money to pay for my lunch so we had to go dutch; at which point we went to my apartment.
As we stood at my apartment door he remembered that he had bought a gift for me and that he had left it in the truck. He asked me what my favourite colour was and I said it was yellow. He then ran down the hall in excitement. I wondered what the heck he could have for me that was yellow, and I soon found out. I was totally stunned when he returned with his yellow gift. A bunch of bananas for crying out loud. I was completely speechless. At this point I was informed that since he had too much to drink, he would have to spend the night. I told him (over my dead body) and tried to push him out the door. I could not budge him so I did the only thing I could do. I attacked him with my bananas, hurling them at him until he backed up into the hall, then I slammed the door! He screamed at me to let him in, but there was no way that was happening. I yelled at him he could stuff his bananas up his butt. Then I told him to leave or I would call the cops. Thank God he left before I had to go through that too.
It was a life altering date. I have since moved and no longer allow my friends to fix me up.
I think I will join a dating site, hopefully one that doesn’t have any banana toting sex pots.
Online Dating Sites
I greeted him at the door and was completely underwhelmed to say the least. He looked like he just came from a construction site, he was completely unkempt and his clothes were dirty, dusty and smelly. He then told me I would have to drive because there was a hole in the floorboard on the passenger side and he did not want me falling through.
We decided to go to an Chinese buffet. It was nice and the food was quite tasty. My assumption that things were getting better were unfortunately short lived. After telling me how nice I looked, always nice to hear, he proceeded to tell me that he only had two toes on one foot (like I really gave a shit) and how he had lost them as a child playing with his father's rifle. He then told me that he did not have a job. He had lied to me so I would go out with him. He said he was about to lose his house that I found out wasn't a house at all but a friend's garage. Next this pathetic loser started to cry that he was not good looking enough to attract a girl, he had no job, and no prospects. What could I do but just pat his hand and tell him to be patient that there is someone out there for him and that things will work out for him eventually. He did not have enough money to pay for my lunch so we had to go dutch; at which point we went to my apartment.
As we stood at my apartment door he remembered that he had bought a gift for me and that he had left it in the truck. He asked me what my favourite colour was and I said it was yellow. He then ran down the hall in excitement. I wondered what the heck he could have for me that was yellow, and I soon found out. I was totally stunned when he returned with his yellow gift. A bunch of bananas for crying out loud. I was completely speechless. At this point I was informed that since he had too much to drink, he would have to spend the night. I told him (over my dead body) and tried to push him out the door. I could not budge him so I did the only thing I could do. I attacked him with my bananas, hurling them at him until he backed up into the hall, then I slammed the door! He screamed at me to let him in, but there was no way that was happening. I yelled at him he could stuff his bananas up his butt. Then I told him to leave or I would call the cops. Thank God he left before I had to go through that too.
It was a life altering date. I have since moved and no longer allow my friends to fix me up.
I think I will join a dating site, hopefully one that doesn’t have any banana toting sex pots.
Online Dating Sites
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