Does He Have Breakfast Sausage or Salami?

The importance of size is a question that men have been asking for as long as there have been cucumbers and baby corn growing in the garden. Does penis size really matter?  For some women, size – especially penis girth – is very important for them in a satisfying sexual partner.  Luckily, scientists have found a simple way for women to see if a man they are interested in is packing some serious trouser meat without staring at their crotch.

It has now been determined that the ratio of a man's ring finger to index finger is an accurate predictor of how delightful and delectable the dick is. If the index finger is shorter than his ring finger, then he has sizable size. It all has to do with the amount of testosterone or estrogen that the male child is exposed to during pregnancy - the more testosterone the longer the ring finger, and proportionately, the penis. 

Anecdotally, it has also been noted that men with the long ring finger are tend to be more successful both in sports and academically. (Of course if that was the case then Ron Jeremy would be making hundreds of millions a year as a Pro Athlete instead of just being a porn star who is famous for his tool size). This likely means that the next fad in plastic surgery will be for guys to shorten their index fingers in a bid for increased intelligence.

So, now every woman has a quick and easy way to discreetly check out whether a man has some sizable junk in his pants without stealing glances at his shoe size or crotch bulge. (Both of which can be exaggerated, by the way – I know a guy who stuffs his shorts AND wears shoes two sizes too big for him). She can get all the information she really needs during a handshake. Easy!

Despite society’s focus on what a man is packing, there have been some recent men’s movements that try to reduce the fascination with penis size. These groups contend that it is not the man who should worry about their genitals, but women. After all, they contend, a man can do nothing about the size of his penis, but a woman CAN do something about the tightness of her vagina.

Women are encouraged to exercise their kegel muscles. Women who have just had a baby know all about the benefits of Kegels for re-strengthening their lady parts for things like preventing incontinence, but these men’s groups contend that all women could benefit from having a vice-like vagina.


Kegel Exercises for a Tighter Vagina!


On a side note, men can also strengthen their Kegels. In fact, there have been some men who, with a regiment of Kegel strengthening, can have ejaculation-free orgasms. Hello multiple orgasms for men! Equality now!


Kegel Exercises for stronger male orgasms!


Who knows! With future genetic enhancements, parents may be able to engineer a proboscis for their male heirs that resembles a third leg!



Dating and Relationships Advice for Men


Dating and Relationships Advice for Women

A Drip In Time Saves Nothing

It could be a hardship living across the hall from a hunk. He was your classic tall dark and handsome. He had all his deep brown hair, a muscular physique, and was tall. At least six feet two inches Men and I go back a long way. I do not mean that in a slutty sense, but I just want to get out that I have never had any difficulty attracting the eye of any man that I had my heart set on. And I also get a lot of unwanted attention from guys I would just as soon did not exist. But for some reason, my hunky neighbor and I had a problem. We could not keep a conversation going for the love of us.  If we passed in the hallway, about the only thing we could reliably manage was a blurt of 'hello'. Sometimes there would be a change of gait, as if each of us was trying to think for something to say, but that was it. Even Nora Roberts would have trouble spinning that into a lasting romance. I took the initiative a couple of times to strike up a conversation, but he would at most just answer my questions. There was never anything coming back at me initiated from his end. At times I thought he was shy, but I was more inclined to believe that he was just not that into me.

I was single and living a girl who had replied to my want ad for someone to split the rent. Since both of us were just starting out on our careers, it made good economic sense. After all, I knew a lot of other women who were doing exactly the same thing. We got along reasonably well, and did our best to warn each other if we might be bringing a hottie home with us that night so the other could stay out of the way.  My roommate was very noisy when having intercourse, so I always made it a point to have my headphones on listening to loud music whenever she was 'entertaining'. With that lack of privacy, we became quite close friends and often shared our deepest secrets and life aims.

I was between boyfriends at the time, and a bit down in the mouth that I had gotten nowhere with Mr. Perfect across the hall from me.  As many women have experienced, when you have nobody in your life on a daily basis, you start to slip up on the care and maintenance of your body department. The last time I put on panty hose, it looked pretty gross because you could see all my leg hair. So I had stopped wearing skirts and dresses for a while. But wearing pants all the time meant that my wardrobe was cycling more often than normal, and I was getting tired of wearing the same outfits every few days. So I touched up my roots, shaved the hair off my legs and took a nice luxurious bubble bath with some new lavender scented soap I had purchased that day.

The absolute best feature of our apartment was a seemingly endless supply of hot water. And it was included in our rent. So at every opportunity, I would indulge myself in a nice long soak. After I touched up my roots, I shaved my legs, rinsed off in the shower, and then ran a nice long bubble bath. I do not know what it is about a bubble bath, but they always make me feel like a princess. I was laying there for about ten minutes or so when I heard a drip. A few seconds later there was another one, and then another. So much for my serenity! I sat up to investigate. My first thought was that I had not shut off the tap tightly enough, but when I checked that was not the case. It then dawned on me that it was just the shower head line draining back through the spout.

I tried to relax again, but the constant dripping was just wearing on me. My own little personal Chinese water torture. So I rested against the back of the tub again, and lifted my toe up to the end of the faucet. The next drip just ran down my toe, down my foot and slipped silently into the water. Since that worked pretty well, I kept doing it.  Pretty soon I was just laying there with my eyes closed running my toe around the end of the spout.  I guess I dozed off because the next thing I knew, I was breathing in soap bubbles. I sneezed, and when I did, I jerked my foot up and my big toe got stuck in the spout.  No amount of trying would get that toe to move. It was like it had been glued in. 

I sat there for about a half hour trying to remove my toe, but I could not. The water was starting to get cold. I laughed at the stupidity of the entire situation. Sixty minutes later, it was not so funny. The water was cold and I was shivering. At this point I looked over and could just reach my towel, so I thought that the best thing I could do was to let out the water and cover myself with the towel. After doing so, I just lay there waiting for my roommate to get back home.

Fortunately for me she came in early. She had had a fight with her boyfriend. She had barely stepped in the door when I was screaming at her to come rescue me. She pretty much did everything that I had. I guess we figured that with twice the force, it would come out. All we accomplished was almost pulling my big toe out of joint. Boy did it hurt. So there we were contemplating calling the fire department. I had visions of them coming in with a big saw to cut the spout, slipping and taking off half my toe. When my roommate suggested them I panicked and screamed.

Since I would not let her call the fire department, or the paramedics for that matter, she did the only other thing that she could think of. She went over to Mr Body Beautiful's apartment across the hall, knocked on the door and pleaded for help.  At least I was somewhat covered when he walked in. In our panic, neither my roommate or I had thought to cover me with something more substantial than the towel.  Of course he did the same lame stuff that we had already tried, but it hurt even worse. I screamed and he immediately apologized. He looked so cute when he did it that my heart just melted. He seemed even more handsome than I remembered, and I loved his aftershave.

After thinking about it for a couple of minutes he asked if we had any vegetable oil and crushed ice.  It seemed like an odd request, but my roommate went to get him what he asked for.  When she got back, he cupped his hands around my toes and asked her to pour the vegetable oil into the cup his hands formed. After they were done, oil coated my toe and up inside the spout. He pulled on my toe carefully, but it was still jammed in there. He told me that he was going to try chilling my toe in crushed ice hoping that the swelling would go down enough to pull it out. But after ten minutes of chilling that did not work either.

So he thought about it some more and then asked my roommate for a plastic freezer bag or something sort of heavy plastic sheeting. She came back with a shopping bag from a ladies shop and asked if that was good enough. He said he thought it would work. He then went to his apartment and came back with a wrench.  He removed the shower head, and after doubling up the bag and putting it over the pipe, he put the shower head back on. He said it was to keep the water from coming out. I was wondering how I was supposed to take my next shower with a bag in there, but I did not comment. Then he iced my toe again for about twenty minutes. It sure was getting cold by then. At this point, he pulled down on my foot and told my roommate to turn the water on full blast.  Out popped my toe. He slipped and fell on top of me and in the scramble my towel fell off.

After the shock, I started to laugh. I mean, there I was fully naked with this hot guy all over me, and my roommate looking on. It was almost like some sort of threesome porn movie. Pretty soon, all of us were laughing.  The laughter covered up any embarrassment that I might have felt over being naked. But to tell the truth, I was just so relieved to be free of the toe trap, that I couldn't care less.

In any event, we finally broke that conversation barrier that we had been having.  We chatted and laughed for the rest of the evening, and I maneuvered him into asking me out the next night before I let him go home.  I limped a bit on my first date with him, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

That was almost a year ago now. Things are getting pretty serious with us. Nobody believes me when I tell them that the reason we got together was because of my date I had with a drip!

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Dating Advice for Women