What a Banana

One of my friends spilled my messenger address to this guy, and surprisingly, I found myself chatting with him for a couple of months. We finally decided to meet for lunch one day as a way to see if anything more would develop. He lived quite some distance from me, but agreed to meet me on my turf. I was rather shocked when my much anticipated date shows up in this old junker truck! 
When I opened the door for him, I was in for more disappointment. He looked like he had just crawled out from under his truck, and apparently that is what had happened. His truck had broken down, and not wanting to be late he decided not to change after fixing it. He insisted that I drive, and when I got in and saw a gaping hole in the passenger floor boards, I understood why.

We went to a small Chinese buffet for lunch. It was nice and the food was quite tasty. I was starting to become impressed, but that did not last too long.  He did the usual compliments about me and then proceeded to tell me an anecdote of how he had lost most of the toes on one foot because of a childhood accident with his dad's loaded rifle. Like I cared. He then went on to tell me that he didn't really have a job and that he lied about having one so I would go out with him. Then I found out he was going to be evicted from his friend's garage because he could not pay his rent. Then this loser started to blubber that he had nothing. No job, no prospects and he knew that he was not good looking. He was so annoying it was pathetic. What could I do but just pat his hand and tell him to be patient that there is someone out there for him and that things will work out for him eventually. He paid for lunch and then he took me back to my apartment.

He told me he had a gift for me in the truck and said he hoped that yellow was my favorite color. I told him it was and he seemed pleased as he raced away. I stood there wondering what in the world could he have bought me that was yellow. Well I soon found out. I was totally stunned when he returned with his yellow gift. A bunch of bananas for crying out loud. I was completely speechless. At his point I was informed that since he had too much to drink, he would have to spend the night. Holy cow! I tried to push him out the door. I was desperate to get him out so I did the first thing that came to mind. I attacked him with my bananas, hurling them at him until he backed up into the hall, then I slammed the door! He continued pounding on my door saying let me in. I told him to take his bananas and go or I would call the police; so he left.

It proved to be a costly date. I have since moved and no longer allow my friends to fix me up.

I am going to try an online dating site. They guarantee anonymity. Hopefully the guys their can come up with something other than just their bananas to keep me happy.

Online Dating Sites